all the same; all different


all the same all the different

This will be my expression and face for the next 10 years.

It’s weird to know what is behind the eyes sometimes; in any case, mine was the stress of having my first 2 shots disturbed by a little kid playing (no fault of theirs) and the fact that it cost 6 euro.
I was also feeling like I was going to pass out with the drained-ness and other symptoms that had been growing increasingly more debilitating for over a decade. 
I took these on June 2 and I was hospitalised 3 days later. Diagnosed with severe ulcerative colitis, the intensity of my symptoms left doctors wondering how I’d been walking around, let alone 9 hour work days & 4 hour commutes. 
Growing up in rural Ireland I was taught that I’d ‘get better before I was married’ and never sent home even if I was crying in the pain I was in, because my pain wasn’t visible. It made me believe my pain wasn’t worthy in comparison to others. 
So I developed a mind over matter approach to pain and consistently grew stronger with ignoring it. When it would break my body I’d blame myself. The diet and healthy eating culture today gave me answer after answer too as to why I was incorrect. Vegan. Paleo. Keto. Clean. Ovo-lacto. Raw. etc. A lifetime of constant pain and fear and wondering why my health was continually failing.
I went in last Monday unable to move with pain, so dehydrated I was on drips for nearly a week. Thanks to modern medicine I leave on the mend.. I leave and move forward now with a diagnosis that will change my entire life.. I’m excited. For the first time, health is legitimately in my grasp. I’m so grateful.


Video Format Me

something new!


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